In a past work life many moons ago, I sat at a desk all day. I stared into the face of a monitor and only moved from that spot when I wanted or needed to. I was pretty much sedentary during the day, but worked out regularly to compensate. Running and lifting weights gave me extra energy that I did not miss until I stopped doing it. Looking back, I had it pretty good.

Fast forward to my current work life as a real estate broker in New York City, where I am up and down six-story walk-up buildings all day in addition to beating the streets akin to the postman -- in rain, sleet or snow -- and needless to say, I am exhausted.

Finding the time to exercise regularly has been near impossible. When my phone rings, I have to go. In a business where you eat what you kill, willingness to go is an absolute must. However, without exercising I don't really have the energy I need to keep going at this speed. What I have done is form some semblance of compromise by committing to daily stretching. I know that stretching does not burn a massive amount of calories but it does keep me from feeling stiff. After hours of walking and stair climbing my calves and lower back were beginning to hurt.

Traditionally I have been taught to stretch before working out but never considered working an actual workout. I am aware of the benefits of stretching and the fact that it increases flexibility but had not considered the benefits outside the gym. Now that my work is so physically demanding I can not only see but also feel the benefits. Doing it daily has diminished the tightness in my calves and has alleviated all back pain. Not only has stretching increased my flexibility but the deep breathing also relieves stress. I feel better and am keeping up with the rat race at its impossible pace.

By no means is stretching meant to replace my exercise routine. Once I am on firm footing with my schedule it will once again be in addition to. However, right now doing something is better than nothing. The fact that I still am not at 100 percent is motivation to get back to an exercise routine that will help bolster my energy. I'm looking forward to a time not far away when all my running around will simply be for my pleasure.

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Every year on Ash Wednesday, Christians worldwide kick off the season of Lent. Most pick something to give up during this season as a way of denying self and drawing closer to God in the lead up to Holy Week and Easter. I have participated many times giving up an array of things ranging from beef to makeup. This year I am giving up chocolate. And it has been hard.

Only five days in and my co-workers are begging me to eat chocolate as they think I am noticeably more irritable. Between me and you, I agree. I am certain that this experience has shined a light on how heavily I rely on chocolate without even knowing it and how much I consume. Even the frequency is surprising, but I'm sticking to my commitment and have no designs of eating a morsel of chocolate until Easter. Avoiding chocolate has also sparked the urge to consume less sugar.

In my attempt to avoid chocolate or any of its derivatives, I've been reading every label. What has become obvious is the many different ways of unknowingly consuming sugar. I refused ahead of time to give up sugar altogether because I have suffered more than one failed attempt -- but figured chocolate alone would not be so bad. And it's not if you don't count the cravings! They are starting to wane a bit, but the first few days were like chocolate withdrawal. I never realized that I eat chocolate in some form almost daily. While there are many health benefits to eating chocolate in moderation, I tend to lean to the chocolate extreme.

I am going to stick out these full 40 days and continue to see how I feel. Maybe my irritability will subside and the cravings will go away completely. To keep me on track, I have enlisted the help of my nieces and nephew -- Catelynn, age 6, Christian, 9 and Caroline, 12. Catelynn and Christian have given up candy, except gum and Caroline has given up tea and juice.

At the last check in with my sister, all three had fallen off the wagon and slipped up with candy and a juice chaser. Fortunately, all three have picked themselves up and started again in hopes of making it to the end successfully. I am happy to report that I am doing well and have not fallen off. Doing it with the kids makes it more rewarding and motivational for me to be the example and stick it out to the very end. I won't miss the extra calories, and may even be able to buy an Easter outfit in a smaller size. Hmm, lean for Lent sounds pretty good to me!

Discover more ways to curb your cravings.

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Sometimes I feel like an alien because I'm 40 years old with no husband and no children.

As another Valentine's Day approaches, I am single with little to no serious prospects, but am financially sound, emotionally healthy and looking better than I ever have in my life. I'm dating pretty regularly, but can't remember the last guy I actually wanted to see for a second date. I've tried online dating, offline dating and dating after meeting in a line, but all to no avail. To be quite honest, most of the men I meet just aren't up to par.

And apparently, I'm not the only black woman in this position. ABC's Nightline did a segment called "Single, Black, Female and Plenty of Company." I watched this segment intently as four successful single black women much like myself all shared similar stories of slim pickings of compatible mates. In a nutshell, black women are just not getting married as much as white women. The stats speak for themselves: TheFrisky.com reports that 42 percent of African American women have never been married compared to 21 percent of white women. That is DOUBLE people!

Think this applies to just the everyday black chick? Think again. "Let's Talk About Pep" is a new black reality show on VH1 akin to "Sex and the City." Pepa, of famed hip hop group Salt & Pepa, is in search of love alongside three of her best girlfriends. All are successful, financially secure and excel in their respective arenas. Even for this fab group, the pickings are slim. Pep has been celibate for four years in search of Mr. Right. I admire her strength, but that's a long time!

This is not to say that I don't have a guy, because I do. He's 25 years old with a body so hard you could bounce a quarter off it. In fact, I have. He keeps me laughing and we always have a good time. He's content to be at home or on the dance floor as long as it's with me. He is well read and incredibly mature for his age. On some level I love him. But who am I kidding. As much as I enjoy what we have, I know I could never see him as my husband, nor the father of my children. Quite simply, he's just too young for me. I would only feel as if I am holding him back and everyone certainly deserves both the joy and pain that youth offers. I asked him once would he still hold my hand when I'm 80 and he's 65. Being the sweetheart that he is, his response was, "Girl, I would not only hold your hand but I'd slap you on the booty too! All the old ladies in the home would be jealous." He's a great guy, it's great fun -- but I'm not Demi and he's not Ashton.

The strangest part of all of this is that most of what I feel is external. My siblings are all waiting for me to marry and have children. So are most of my married friends. And although I want marriage and children I'm content to have just what I have today for just a little bit longer. It amazes me how many men mention where the hands are on my biological clock when I go out on dates. If they really understood me, they would know that my focus is on the maker of the clock, God -- and not the clock itself.

In its own way it's comforting to know that I am not the only one feeling like an alien because of my status. My only hope is that the other aliens are having as much fun on their planet as I am having on mine. The things that are meant for me will come but I can't mope around about it. Until then all I can do is live and live well.

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Normal weight obesity. Huh? That doesn't even sound right. I was watching "Good Morning America" as part of my usual morning routine when they mentioned an upcoming segment on normal weight obesity. My ears immediately perked up thinking how hard I've fought to stay far, far away from the word obesity -- but here it is mentioned right next to my life's goal, normal weight. Having seen the words morbidly obese written on more doctor's charts than I care to admit, obesity behind normal weight made me feel some kind of way. A bad way. In all of my dieting, surgeries and exercise, there's no way I could possibly still be considered obese. Or is there?

Normal weight obesity (NWO) is defined as excessive body fat associated with a normal body mass index (BMI). The participant on GMA, Monika Sumpter, had lost 50 pounds but had a higher percent of body fat in relation to her weight which deemed her normal weight obese. A study done by the Mayo Clinic found that people with normal BMI who had the highest percentage of body fat were also those who had metabolic disturbances linked to heart disease. The researchers use the phrase "normal weight obesity" to describe a new type of patient at risk for metabolism problems and risk factors for heart disease, but who rates as "normal" on standard weight charts. They defined normal weight obesity as a condition of having a normal BMI with high body fat percentage.

After hearing the story on GMA and the study results from the Mayo Clinic, I decided to find out my BMI. At my highest weight my BMI was 66. When I calculated it today, I got a big warning by way of my results, "High risk: Your risk of premature death and disability is greater than normal due to your weight and other factors." I had to laugh when I saw it because if weighing 400 pounds didn't kill me, who's afraid of the big bad wolf of 180. Not me. That's not to minimize the severity of these results, nor to deny that I have many miles to go -- but it does put it all into perspective. The solution is relatively simple, build more muscle, have less fat, lower the risks.

The GMA participant gave the best advice of all on the show: "Resistance training is the key," said Sumpter, who is now certified as a personal trainer and works at Equinox in New York. "There are three key components to a healthy lifestyle, which is healthy eating habits, resistance training to build muscle and of course cardio to burn calories and for a healthy heart, but it's a combination of all three." This is good health advice for anyone. Of course, as with all things, a doctor's advice rules. But finding out that I'm technically "overweight" has got me heading back to the weight pile. Muscle mass, here I come.

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My body and my money are the two things I think about most. I haven't decided if that's selfish or not, but it is the truth. Only recently am I realizing the many ways they are connected.

My first realization came about when I decided to try and save some extra cash. When I began to strategize cuts in my budget, the first thing to go was eating out. New York is not cheap. A Sunday brunch with the girls can easily cost $60. That doesn't sound like a lot, but multiply that times four and you have $240 each month for salmon, grits and mimosas.

I still have the quality time with my girls, but less of it eating out. In support of my financial rehabilitation, someone different hosts brunch in their home at least once per month. In addition to saving money by not eating out, I've been trying to only eat what I make at home. Doing this makes me take a good hard look at what I'm putting in my body.

Thoughts of my body range from extremely positive to downright negative depending on the day and the hour. My thoughts also include action items and strategies for improving my body and overall health. Sometimes I follow through on those thoughts, other times they fall by the wayside. Having lost 200+ pounds, I am always in constant fear of gaining it back. But I still don't do the things that I should. I'm pretty body-happy right now, and even though I haven't been able to shake the fear of going back, in my heart of hearts I know I'll never be 300 anything, ever again!

My money is on my mind for obvious reasons. I need it to live. I make more than enough to live, but I desire to live well. I am always thinking of ways to make my money do more so I can one day do less. As a single person, saving is exceptionally important. If I don't save now for old age I will clip coupons, search for promo codes and ride the train instead of paying to park. Yes, at every turn money is on my mind.

The rest of my thought life belongs to the most important thing, my faith. Although I'm mentioning it last, it is most definitely first. Because of my faith, thoughts of my body and my money diminish in its shadow. My faith helps me keep the other things in check because it assures me that all is well. Too much time spent thinking in the wrong direction can create an unhealthy obsession. Faith won't let me worry because I truly believe that I'll be better, stronger and wiser. By faith, I even believe that I can do anything, including keep the weight off. Sure I could separate my body from my money and my money from my faith. However, life's a whole lot sweeter when faith rules and overcomes all I think about my body and money, simply because I believe that there really is greater for me.

Looking for more ways to save while shaping up at the same time? Learn how to lunch bag those extra pounds.

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A career change at 40 can not only be difficult, but traumatizing, so I've heard. That's not my story. My transition has been the bomb! Very recently I left a job that for all intents and purposes was relatively secure to start a new career in New York City real estate. I know, I know. Real estate? Yes, real estate.

New York City is one of the few places in the country that utilizes a broker to find a rental. Anywhere else I've lived, we grab the local Penny Saver or Apartment Guide and head out. But New York City doesn't work that way. Brokers are the third party that connect landlords to tenants, far easier for a renter than scouring the city alone via Craigslist.

My new office is filled predominantly with young men all under the age of 25. Conversations of roommate fights and frat parties are the norm. At first glance, this clearly looks like a young man's game. Needless to say, I am one of four senior citizens -- meaning that we're 30-plus. Despite our age differences, though, the entire team works well together and easily finds common ground on any conflict that may arise. But surprisingly, when we go out as a team and preview apartments, you'll never guess who can't keep up.

Continue reading Stair Master: Fit Enough to Keep Up

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In an attempt to save money, I started brown bagging my breakfast and lunch. Spending between $10-12 ever day can add up quickly, but went practically unnoticed because I was simply in the habit of doing it. Even calculating on the low side for work day meals alone, that's a savings of $200 each month. However, what I hadn't realized until recently is that not only am I saving money, I'm saving calories.

I find that packing my lunch makes me more aware of what I'm eating. It also shined a light on what I had been eating when dining out. Making my own lunch gives me a front line opportunity to make healthy choices. When I think of some of my usual lunch purchases of pizza, hoagies, and chips, I know for certain that there is no way I would pack these for lunch.

Now, my normal bagged lunch contains a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with mustard substituted for mayo, lettuce and tomato. I add a small side salad with low fat dressing and a sliced apple or pickle. I find that I enjoy my own cooking better and am satisfied because I know that I'm eating healthy.

Continue reading (Lunch) Bag Those Extra Pounds

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Continue reading Realistic Resolutions to Get Fit

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That's exactly what I am doing...with my career. In my 40th birthday post I talked about how I wished I had done more with the first half of my life and had expressed some regret in growing stagnant in my job and never venturing out enough to have a full blown career. In less than 60 days from that post, the opportunity came wrapped in a bright red bow known as voluntary severance.

Continue reading Fit to Go On

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Of course these outings come with what, you guessed it, fast food. As we went from one excursion to the next last year, we ate so much junk that even they were glad to have a hearty Christmas meal. Well, not this year. I've decided to pack fruit to have on hand as well as other wholesome snacks to avoid street-side hot dogs and burgers from McDonald's. Bottled water instead of soft drinks will eliminate the unnecessary sugar and calories. Last year I was fortunate to have my neighbor's mom cook dinner, however, this year I am on my own. I will continue in the steps of our new Thanksgiving tradition by cooking only enough to last the day. I refuse to have several days worth of leftovers that we will either consume unnecessarily or will go to waste.

As I did with Thanksgiving, I'm taking the guess work out of eating by planning ahead. In years past, too much ho ho ho has had me ho ho hum. Having a plan to avoid the pitfalls is a sure fired way to avoid any weight gain as usually happens this time of year. Taking the celebration off the table and turning our attention to each other has brought us closer as a family. Greater still, unlike gathering at the table, time spent together in the family room hasn't hurt anyone's waistline one little bit. Happy Holidays!

Read more about Karla's trip home for Thanksgiving.

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It seems like forever ago that I thought that being fat was my fate. Today, I see clearly that fit is my fortune. There's something to be said about how good moving and stretching feels. Just the fact that I'm 200-plus pounds lighter and I can move and stretch, downright excites me. I look in the mirror and it's both Thanksgiving and Christmas every day. I cannot express how I feel in this new, low fat, high energy body.

A message to anyone struggling with morbid obesity and eating disorders: It doesn't have to always be this way. I am or have been both those things. Even now I fight against binging and making food choices based more on wants than needs. But I'm better than I was or have ever been. Anyone can be better if they so choose. I'm a believer that what you say is what you will have.

I know it's holiday season and I don't mean to be "deep," but I still hurt. Not just for me but for anyone that has previously, or currently, experiences the shame, pain and hurt that being obese can cause. This is not to say that some big people don't love it and flourish in it. Dare I say some are even jolly. However, I wasn't. As far as I've come, I still relive the pain of my obese past. It was hard to focus on what I physically could not do when my ankles and back hurt, but at some point, I started to focus on what I could do. With the right frame of mind, positive self-talk and the motivation of family and friends, anyone can do anything.

Continue reading The Feeling of Fitness

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I saw a cousin that I hadn't seen in eight years at a funeral. Once he realized that it was me, his ex-fatty-now-thinner cousin, the strange look suddenly turned familiar. So familiar in fact, immediately after his tongue said "what up cuz?. You look good." He had to follow it up with, "but your face is too thin." Damn. The tongue was doing so well, but in true hater fashion, the "but" squashed all that preceded it.

I just smiled because I've never heard him say anything nice in 40 years. I took this tongue wagging with a grain of salt. I figure once he's been out of rehab for more than a week and his head starts to clear, he'll see the truth. It was a funeral so I graciously moved on to the casket opting to spend time with the forever silenced tongue of my aunt, his grandmother, who also never said anything good.

Continue reading The Power of Words

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Thanksgiving in my sister's kitchen is like a scene from the movie Soul Food. In our homes, the kitchen is a sacred place. We cry, laugh and share in this space, but usually while eating something. Unraveling the underlying issues of obesity pretty much happened in one of our kitchens.

Continue reading Family, Food and Friends

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Continue reading The Pursuit of Happiness: Breaking Out of An Exercise Rut

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My first shocker came at breakfast of the first day. My morning starter of Dannon Light n' Fit Yogurt only has 80 calories so surely it must be harmless. Upon closer inspection of the label, I saw that it contained 11 grams of sugar and fructose as the third ingredient. I decided it wasn't harmless after all. I opted for grapes instead and enjoyed them just as much. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Late in the day when I usually stop by the office candy drawer, however, I began to salivate.

Continue reading Three Days Without Sugar

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I do not need a study from Harvard to tell me that sugar is addictive. I know this personally as I now realize that I struggle with my own sugar consumption far more than I realize. When I started digging on the subject, I found quite a few things about sugar to be extremely surprising.

Continue reading (Maybe) Ditching My Sugar Addiction

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It started with the ending of Jake, the trainer. Our sessions began later and later and at some point, he just got too comfortable. Maybe it was just being in my home but either way, it wasn't working out for me anymore, literally. Jake was the glue that held my fitness together. If I didn't do anything on my own in between, I was guaranteed three days with him which would more than make up for anything I missed. But even after I let Jake go, I continued to work out and run. For a little while.

I guess not having anyone's eyes on me and my scale made way for complacency. I have been quite comfortable -- actually, way TOO comfortable. Oh, the creative ways I've justified this spell of laziness would both astound and amaze! I've sat on my couch with my feet up and come up with a new reason almost every day: My body deserves a break to my body needs to rest. I'm on a streak but this is certainly not a winning one.

Continue reading Falling Off the Fitness Wagon

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I saw a baby in church who was so fat, it looked painful. I looked at her fat parents and wanted to slap them both silly -- Three Stooges style -- but we were in church. The preacher was talking about forgiveness, and as bad as I needed to hear what the good Rev. Dr. was saying, all I could do was stare at the Klumps seated in front of me. I immediately wondered what these people were feeding this child. It's no secret that down South we give our babies cereal very early on, as in weeks vs. the months most doctors recommend. Hence, I've seen a chubby baby or two in my day. However, this baby was ready for the Maury show. In all fairness, I know nothing of the child's medical and genetic histories, so this is based solely on what I saw. If her parents were any indication, this child was being fed far more than she could possibly need. I don't understand how two people living a life that could potentially mirror my past morbidly-obese pain would allow the curse to continue.

When I went home, I started poking around the Internet, only to discover that the problem of obesity among children is officially an epidemic. Several studies talked about how rapid weight gain during the first six months could place a child at risk of obesity by age 3. An article for the HarvardScience Publication found, "As childhood obesity continues its 30-year advance from occasional curiosity to cultural epidemic, health care providers are struggling to find out why - and the reasons are many," David Cameron writes. "Increasingly sedentary environments for both adults and children, as well as cheap and ubiquitous processed foods no doubt play a role, but researchers are finding more evidence that the first clues for childhood obesity may begin as far back as early infancy."

Continue reading Spare the Rod, Fatten the Child: Childhood Obesity a Sin at Church?

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Photo: Karla Carrington

Nearly four years later, I am wondering if I still have to disclose that I am a gastric bypass patient. In the early days, it was necessary for various reasons. Small portions from expensive restaurants made more than a few dates inquire why I'd eat so little of what most would consider a great meal. At some point, when comfortable, I would tell folks about the surgery and my limitations. For the most part, the reactions were ones that I could live with. However, on more than one occasion, the response was less than flattering.

I also shared the news with friends and family for various reasons. Again, this news was met with an array of responses ranging from, 'you go girl' to 'you took the easy way out'. Some, I told for accountability. Others, I told because, in an instance where I'd be sick, get food stuck or suffer from dumping syndrome, they needed to know how to help. Well, those things are no longer of grave concern.

Continue reading Don't Ask, Don't Tell

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Photo: Karla Carrington

Taking a step back to think of the many ways that my life has changed for the better allowed me to put it in perspective. OK, so it wasn't the step back, it was my editor Katie who made me think about the good. She had questions from my last post where I was whining about 40 and what surprised me most was that all of her questions were about the good things that I didn't even write about. Naturally, I rolled my neck in true sista girl fashion and I thought, this chick doesn't even know me, and I highly doubt she's 30, so what does she know? Well, she knows a heck of a lot more than I do if she has read my posts over the course of time and recognizes from my words alone that I'm a whole lot better now than I have ever been.

No, my angst did not evaporate because of this realization, but it did ignite appreciation in me. As a reminder of how far I've come, I read some old journal entries. As I read entries from my 20s and 30s, I cried -- I cried hard -- because I could not believe how many of the things I had accomplished and how many prayers God had answered. The one thing I had prayed about over and over was to be released from the prison of morbid obesity. I had written about severe ankle pain, arthritis and my doctor's repeated warnings about diabetes and hypertension. I even suffered through an abusive relationship because of low self esteem. At 40 and 10 abuse free years, I no longer experience any of these things, nor am I at high risk for diabetes or hypertension. So what the heck was I complaining about?

Continue reading I'm A Survivor

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